A Sweaty Guy - Homeless in Hawaii

Flashback - 2001





I first met Jessica in a country club banquet room on the wet, green, windward side of Oahu not far from my house in Kailua. We were at an all day workshop about autism. She was there as the parent of a child with autism. I was there as part of my job. It turns out that Brittany isn’t truly autistic, but at the time autism was the closest diagnosis the professionals could offer. Jessica was a frustrated parent, and I lent a sympathetic ear. I was seated at the same table with her in the spacious conference room. Between lectures we began to get to know a little about each other.

I was instantly attracted to her; I wanted her to like me. So, of course, I didn’t tell her about my drinking, about the drinks I’d already had that morning just to stop the shakes. Instead, I listened to her tell me about her difficulties getting services for Brittany from the Hawaii Department of Education, the DOE. She was frustrated as many parents are. I’d heard lots of other parents express the same frustrations.

I gave her some tips to use when she dealt with the school. “You have to remember that the school will only put services into the individual education program that the team determines the child needs.” I wondered if I’d drunk-called anyone the night before. I’d embarrassed myself on other drunk and lonely occasions, calling ex-girlfriends, my ex-wife, or my friend and landlord Julia.

“But as the parent I’m part of the IEP team.” Now there’s an edge in her voice; she sees me as the enemy, the guy from the DOE.

“True, the parent is an important part of the team, and a lot of the teachers and principals seem to forget that. What a lot of parents miss is that they can’t just ask for any service for their child; they have to demonstrate an educational need. The problem is the law leaves it up to the team to decide what is a need and what is not and lots of times the school just sort of bulldozes over any input the parents might have. What you have to do make sure you bring as much information to the team as you can that will show the rest of the team what you think your child needs.” There were three miniature wine bottles out in the car. I would need to excuse myself soon to make the quick trip out to take my "medicine".

“Yeah, it seems like no one in the DOE ever listens. I’m not the only parent who feels that way.”

”It’s really a tough situation. Principals are under pressure to keep costs down, but it costs a lot to comply with the federal law. Hawaii’s not the only state that has a hard time with IDEA. It has never been fully funded as it was originally intended.”

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act or IDEA the federal law mandating that public schools provide special services to students with disabilities. I had just become, what in Hawaii is called, a Special Education Resource Teacher in the Honolulu School District. Part of my job consisted of helping teachers to develop programs for their students with special needs and helping them to deal with the parents of these children. But the majority of my time was spent working with teachers and principals on contentious special education cases. That is, when the school was faced with a demanding parent like Jessica, I would help the school through the process of developing a legally sufficient special education program for the child.

I was able to escape to my car to suck down some wine before our next lecture.

The presenter was an attorney from the mainland who had represented both parents and school district in special education litigation. His presentation was balanced which was a really good thing. The attendees were a mixture of parents, special education advocates and school personnel. Parents and special education advocates (who were often disgruntled parents of disabled children themselves) had a strong emotional stake in the issues of special education law. They often felt wronged by the system and when the presenter discussed a case similar to their own they took furious notes. Some expressed outrage when the attorney discussed a Supreme Court case that limited the remedies available to the parents. The school personnel tended to maintain a more detached and professional interest in the presentation.